After last week’s Titfighting Challenge between Mimi and Prudie, we conducted some post-fight interviews. SPOILER ALERT! If you didn’t watch the fight yet, DON’T READ THIS!
Well, you certainly pulled off the biggest upset we’ve seen in quite some time.
I’m the fucking CHAMP, Mom, in case you forgot. I’m also one big bundle of walking pain. I had my doubts about tangling with Mimi, but I prevailed.
You didn’t do it entirely by yourself, y’know, kiddo.
What’re you talking about? You mean Robin–? No, she’s far to honest and principled.
Not Robin. Me. I pushed your buttons and got you so riled up during the pre-fight interview that you were ready to beat me up. I knew you’d transfer your anger against me over to Mimi and give her my beating.
You manipulative, scheming—No! That can’t be true. You’re just trying to horn in on my spotlight. This is my greatest moment of triumph and you feel left out. Nice try, though. I mean, it sounds like something you’d do, you old has-been. You want a share of my glory without having to share my suffering and agony.
I just hope you’ll be healed in time for your next Titfighting Challenge. Let’s see, when will that be?
I don’t know. Too soon, I bet. You make the schedule—but schedules are subject to change, even on short notice. Right now. I just wanna go home and soak my throbbing bod in a bathtub full of ice cubes. The only thing that feels good is knowing I beat Mimi so badly she begged me to stop. How many others, male or female, can make that claim?